Happiness

I am reading the Almanack of Naval Ravikant, and it’s the chapter about happiness that resonates with me the most. Before I dive deeper into it, let me share this quote from the book that pulled all the little threads and made me emotional.

“If you view yourself as a bacteria or an amoeba — or if you view all of your works as writing on water or building castles in the sand, then you have no expectation for how life should “actually” be. Life is just the way it is. When you accept that, you have no cause to be happy or unhappy. Those things almost don’t apply.”

Today I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my life and it is not because I succeeded in everything I wanted when I was younger or acquired everything I wished to have back then, no. It is because I got my desires under control. The idea of being content with what you have instead of always wanting something greater, better. At some point I will write about minimalism but it’s not having the minimum number of things that made me happier. It is the realization that as soon as I feel comfortable and fully functioning in my environment, I don’t need to look for a “better” environment anymore.

I used to want a better job, more money, bigger house, a nicer car, a large family. At some point I had a better job, more money, a bigger house, and a nicer car. I am glad I stopped at that. I now live in a small studio apartment. I don’t have a job and my current source of income barely covers the expenses. I don’t own a car and I don’t want to. I no longer want to have kids and a large family. I went through a breakup after being in a relationship for 7 years. Ironically enough, this is the best state I have ever been. Mentally, physically, and financially.

On my way to become a happier person, one of the most important skills I learned over the last few years is a skill of simplifying everything. If something is not working anymore, I don’t look for that “magic thing” that will solve my problem, I am trying to look at the core of a problem and find a solution there.

If I have neck pain, do I really need a more expensive mattress and a better pillow? Or do I just need to start exercising? If I don’t quite enjoy espresso that my coffee machine makes, do I need a better machine or should I rather go to basics and learn about making delicious coffee with a teapot? Do I really need to drink coffee in the first place? (short answer: yes I do!)

Overall, it is being intentional about the things we really want and taking time to finding answers within ourselves instead of bluntly following our first impulses. Why do I want it? Will it make me happier tomorrow? In a week? In a year? It is those questions that we should ask ourselves. And as I was before, you will also be amazed that answer is “no” 99% of time.