adhd
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. It is a neurodevelopmental disorder. Main cause is genetics — one or both parents with ADHD, grandmother, or grandfather. There are about 10% of population that have it. Michael Phelps, Will.i.am, Emma Watson, Will Smith, and many other successful people, including, hopefully, me one day.
Since you asked, here's a brief overview. Symptoms for boys and girls vary a lot, and I am much more familiar with the former, but hopefully what I am about to write will help anyway.
My symptoms
Time blindness
We agreed to meet for coffee at 2 pm. It's 12, and I decide to check my inbox because there's plenty of time. I open my inbox, and there's an email from a customer. They ask to fix a bug. I do a quick analysis and decide it will be an easy one to fix. I fix a bug. It's 1:50 pm, and I am 20 minutes away from the coffee shop. I text you I will be 10 minutes late. By the time I get dressed and leave, it's 2:05. The road takes me 25 minutes instead. I meet you at 2:30.
Over time, I learned to manage my time better. But it sometimes happens nonetheless.
Restlessness
"Two things were impossible to him: to stand still or to move aimlessly." — Ayn Rand, "Atlas Shrugged".
That's me in one sentence.
Forgetfulness
Names, addresses, quotes, facts. My memory is the one of a fish, but I use tools to help me remember.
Inattention
"Hi, my name is Brandon".
"Hi, I am Sergei. What's your name, you said?"
Conversations are hard for me. Very hard. Conversations in loud environments are impossible.
You and I chat, but my favorite song starts playing in the background. Dammmn, such a nice bass, no wonder I love this song. "Wait, what did you say? Look! Is that a squirrel???"
Procrastination
This one doesn't need introduction.
Higher sensitivity for light / sounds
Bright LED lights? No, thanks. Parties with loud music? No, thanks.
How I deal with all that
Tools, tools, and once again tools. Technology is your friend here. Planners, reminders, alarms, calendars. Did you know you could set a location-based reminder? Every time you drive home from work, your phone will tell you to stop by the grocery store. Yes, I didn't know either.
Or every time you leave the house, your lights and all electric appliances — perhaps, except for the fridge — will shut down. Forget to brush your teeth or eat? Block it in the calendar — "lunch from 12pm to 1pm".
I load the laundry machine and set a timer for how long it will take. If not, I'll be reminded about it the next day when I have nothing to wear.
I write down all names of people I meet. Call me a weirdo, I don't care.
If something is in my head, I'll put it down on the paper, even if I won't need it later. This helps me free my mental capacity.
Sports and things like pull-up bar at home. I need to move, a lot. Tired sitting? I'll go hang for a minute. Can't think straight? I'll play a guitar or go for a short walk.
Water bottle everywhere because I forget to drink water.
Zero notifications on my phone. Now, this one is huge for me. My phone is dumb, and I love it this way. I removed whatsapp, telegram and everything else from it. No notifications, no distractions. I control my phone, and not the other way around. I disabled phone calls from unknown numbers.
Similar to previous one, no social media. Period.
Just general acceptance and forgiveness of myself. I forgot to reply to an important email? "It's ok, Sergei, life gets in a way". Can't wake up before 11am? I'll move all important things to start in the afternoon.
What else should help
Therapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
Medication. Amphetamine, dextroamphetamine, and lisdexamfetamine in micro dosages. Brands: Adderall, Concerta, Vyvanse. There are others, and not everything will work. Part of the journey is to work with your doctor — usually a physician can take care of it — and see what suits you better.
I haven't tried either yet, but both are on my agenda for the next two-three years.
Now, answering the question of a subscriber,
How to help your child if you suspect ADHD.
If you notice symptoms, diagnose early. Any psychiatrist will be able to give you more information how to deal with it than I am capable of. But above anything, be patient. A child can't sit still? It's time to introduce them to sports, so they could redirect their energy. Patience and understanding. Read books to educate yourself on the topic. Talk to other parents who have kids with ADHD. You asking this question in this blog is already a big step. I am very proud of you, and I send you lots of love and support.
Resources
Tools
- Readwise for remembering what I read and my favorite quotes.
- Google Calendar
- Notion for everything notes-related
- Anylist for groceries and recipes
- Insight Timer for keeping my mind sane
- Audiobooks (Audible, Litres, Libby) for keeping my mind occupied when I do boring routine tasks like laundry, dishes, cooking.
Books
- Driven to Distraction by Edward M. Hallowell et al.
- (continuation) Delivered from Distraction by Edward M. Hallowell
- Understanding Girls with ADHD by Kathleen G. Nadeau (not read, but my ex-wife did)
- The Queen of Distraction by Terry Matlen (also about ADHD in women, not read but in my ex-wife's library)
Other
- TED talk of Jessica McCabe on her ADHD journey. Very touching, very relatable.
- Her youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/HowtoADHD/